Last week I was really feeling like I needed to hit the refresh button on my life. I was feeling kind of sluggish and generally uninspired. It seemed like there was just a lot of busy going on with no results or enjoyment. I was having a hard time getting into the Word or anything else. I could go on and on about the things in my life that are dissatisfying, but that wouldn't be inspiring now, would it? What you want to know is how I got beyond that, and I have to say that it was a few different things.
To start with, I met with three different friends, and wow did I feel like the social butterfly! One was a friend that I really connect with in the writing level, and she is a great one to bounce ideas off of. She is usually crazy busy, and it was great to have the afternoon to drink coffee and talk out all of our plot and character ideas. Then I met with my cousin (actually my second cousin- she's smack in between me and my mom's age!) and we let our girls play, and caught up on church stuff. She is an awesome woman of God, and gave me some insight on things I had been questioning. It didn't solve things, but helped me gain some perspective. And then I met with a girl from work, who actually asked me to get together. Can I tell you how great it feels to have someone you don't really know seek you out to get to know you because they recognize you have something in common? I am not one to push getting to know people, and I think I need to do that more. I have so many facebook friends, people from work and church, that I have never really sat down and had a conversation with! I am going to make it a goal to seek these people out and get to know them better. So, I had a smoothie with my co-worker and we talked about how we had both ended up in nursing and about our families. I really look forward to getting to know her better!
The other thing was when Abram stepped up and demanded a change. I won't go into details, but sometimes you need get stuck in a pattern and things just need to change. It was something that we've talked about but never really resolved. I think the thing is that you have to come to a point that you won't give up until you get the results you want. Funny how you can start to deal with one thing, and then several other things pop up as well! We had several long conversations over the weekend, and started reading a book together that has kept us talking.
I have a hard time talking about things in the moment- I tend to wait until I can't take it anymore and I erupt! I also feel really lonely, and often wonder what I am doing wrong or if it is the people around me. The thing is, God is faithful. Always. A little bit goes a long way when it is done in faith. When we move in faith, He fulfills it.
The amazing things: so, that intimacy I had been craving is growing. A few days ago, Abram called and told me that he was going to bring a friend home with him because he felt like we were supposed to pray for him. After talking about the situation we prayed over our friend's teenage son. Even though we don't have teenagers yet, God blessed that obedience and faithfulness and something was taken care of. The little we gave was turned into so much more because God was in it. And a special bonus was being able to flow with Abram spiritually, and what was revealed to each of us was a part of a whole! It was one of the sweetest moments.
I have found lots of things on Pinterest that have inspired me and given me ideas. One of those was a 2 day cleanse, which I did this week. It was kind of tough, in the sense that I was still kind of hungry at the end of the day, but it was refreshing to be able to know exactly what I needed to do and have a short, attainable goal. In the end it was awesome to know that I did it, that I had the control and willpower to see it through.
What I have learned is that when you come to point that things aren't working, change something! Don't be afraid to ask questions. Seek new perspectives, and do the little things. So many times I feel like what I have could never be enough. I think that is why this song really speaks to me right now: "Little Is Much" by Downhere
"What can be done with what you still have?" You are not under-qualified! When you are feeling sluggish do something to get moving! Hit the refresh button and do something different. Face that thing you have been ignoring. That thing that you have been feeling like you were supposed to do, but have been putting off: do it! Detox yourself! Dust yourself off. Even if it feels insignificantly small, give it to God and do it in faith. Faith hopes! It can be bigger than you imagined or dreamed. Plant those seeds.
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